Thoughts on “How They Got Their Bodies Back” Headlines

Thoughts When I See a Magazine Headline “How They Got Their Bodies Back”

1. Wow. What was it like to be atmospheric? Did you feel like a cloud, or other particulate matter? Could you communicate at that time, or did you have to wait until you had a mouth again? If you were particulate, did each particle have a different emotion or viewpoint, or does the whole mass feel as one? And when did you first become atmospheric, how did it happen? Was it at the end of a particularly empathic yoga class, and you just went “poof”? Often, I am concerned about that. Please, tell me more.

2. Oh, wait, perhaps I misread. Were you talking about how sometimes when you kill a bunch of people and you put them in the back of your truck and you’re driving really fast and you take a turn past the Craft and Hobby store on the way to the quarry, a couple of them can fall out and then it’s confusing whether they’re in the parking lot of the Craft and Hobby or that other place that shares the lot, but there’s that little divider that made you jag so they could be THERE, and then when you retrace your steps, they’re totally GONE? God, that’s funny. I totally could have given that interview. So for real, tell me, how’d YOU get your bodies back?

3. Wait a minute, maybe I’m totally off base. Is it one of the following?
a. a body-switch story– that’s pretty silly, because everybody knows that the body switchback is directly related to the way the bodies were switched in the first place (magical fortune cookie, peeing in a fountain, et cetera), and therefore cannot be spoken about generically
b. a story teaching the basics of rinse, lather, repeat
c. an elaborate fart denial

Barring these options, I’m unsure as to what the eff you people are talking about. Whether I gain ten pounds or lose three, I’m pretty much always in possession of my body. It’s mine. It’s not only “my body” when it looks a particular way. It’s also “my body” when it looks differently, behaves differently, and goes through the common or less common changes it’s prone to go through. I used to have a body that was three feet tall. And then I had one with a perfect ass and then I had one that drank too much alcohol and then I had one that had some troubles and then I had one that learned to scuba. Still my body.

So please put stories that are either more accurate or more entertaining on the cover of your magazines, people. Perhaps you’ll find material for a “How We Got Our Intelligent Customers Back”– I’m wishing you luck on that one.

48 Hour Film Project “#2″ now up online

I love speed writing challenges. For years I was part of “TheAtrainPlays,” a project where playwrights picked characters out of a hat, got on the subway train at the top of the A line, and wrote a 15-minute play which would be performed at the Neighborhood Playhouse but whose set would be the subway train itself.

At the end of the line, at Far Rockaway, the playwrights were randomly matched up with a lyricist-composer– that’s what I did. We read the playwright’s script and wrote songs while traveling up the line to the Bronx and then back down until we met the actors back at midtown. The plays were presented the next day, off-book, with a full band. Guided by the energy of actor/producer Larry Feeney, it was breathless and wonderful, exhilarating and wicked fun.

We haven’t done theAtrainplays regularly for a few years now, so I was thrilled to get the opportunity to be part of the Washington DC edition of the 48 Hour Film Project, with the production company Sciatica Veer Films. In this speed writing event, filmmaking teams are given a genre, a prop, and a character name, and have to shoot and edit a film in 48 hours.

When Sciatica Veer drew “comedy” as their genre, my good friend Marni Penning recommended that I come down from New York to act in their piece. It was last minute, but I wasn’t doing anything that weekend, and I was looking for material for my acting reel. I had recently found myself filming a lot of student films up at Columbia, and while they were great acting experiences, the material tended to be more dramatic, and the wait time for finished product was measured by the months and years.

But Jason Mullis’ production company Sciatica Veer had office space and a history of cranking out industrial films and video that looked great, in short order. They were able to scrape together an outline, outstanding actors, and an idea about a “show within a show” called “Zombie School” that would allow them to use the character name prominently and eventually won us the “Best Use of Character” award, along with being named among the 25 “Best of the Fest” films out of hundreds of submissions.

So I was not only able to give a comic performance that I think really reflects what I do as an actor (awkward secretary in a natural, “Office”-y vein), but in a full-circle moment, I was able to help out and compose the theme song for “Zombie School” in about 15 minutes from pencil to recording studio. The spirit of the Atrainplays lives!

Here’s the final product, up on Youtube. The genre we were given was “comedy”, the prop was “a pencil,” and the character was “Riley Thompkins, a teacher.”

#2, the Washington DC 48 Hour Film Festival entry from Sciatica Veer

Old friends, new friends

I had a great time performing at La Mama Galleria for Discovering Oz’s party this week. Discovering Oz is a rare quantity– a public relations firm with a specialty in non-profits, arts organizations, and genuinely nifty people. On Friday night they took over the Galleria space on East First Street in the East Village, hung the work of artists with whom they’ve had successful collaborations, and invited talented friends to perform to a happy, wine-d up crowd.

I first met Darien Bates, the founder of Discovering Oz, some years ago when I performed in “I, Claudius, Live,” a cult-hit serial– and seriously skewed– version of “I, Claudius.” And I had originally hooked up with Theatre Askew through my friend, Jason Jacobs, who was co-founder and co-director and now is successfully working as a freelance theatre director.

It’s such a pleasure when you realize that you’ve been working in New York theatre long enough to have serious history with wonderful people. Usually there are many pockets of friends and companies with whom you’ve worked, and if you’re lucky, you can reconnect with them like I did on Thursday night. People like the then-comedian and now-writer and creator of Breakup Girl, Lynn Harris– one of the funniest, smartest women I know. And her brilliant co-consipirator, freelance designer and illustrator Chris Kalb, who’s now the art director of City Scoops magazine. When we met, we were excited, energetic, loud in subways, probably hugely annoying. I’m so glad to know not only are my old friends continuing to work in the fields they were dreaming of at that time, the goal of becoming nice, grounded, grown-up people seems to have been accomplished too. And that new friends like Darien Bates can provide excellent excuses for us to cavort again.

And introduce us to new circles– Friday night I saw Talking Band for the first time, a 37-year-old experimental theatre group of which I’m now officially a fan. They create thought-provoking, funny, heart-filled music-theatre work, and they’re who I want to be when I grow up. I’ll be at their next performances, coming March 1-18 to La Mama.

NOTE: My friends and colleagues’ swell-ness may inspire me to create an avalanche of links, in this post and in the future. So sue me.

The times are a-blogging

Hi, all! Those of you who have been glancing at my web site every now and then for years may notice that while this portion of the site used to contain all of my information, photos, videos, et cetera, I have a fancy new re-design for all that, and so I’m using this as more of a blog.

This is great news! It means I can 1) tell you about every gig, NYC and elsewhere; 2) tell you about all of my larger ongoing projects, like “Janet Any-Gal” Radio Mystery Theatre, and “Reddy or Not: A Musical Comedy Tribute to Helen Reddy”; and 3) give you more frequent, freewheeling-type thoughts and info. (For example: I just took a scuba class. It’s fun!)

So enjoy the redesign, and if you want to know what I’m doing, check this blog.

NEXT: December 9 at LaMama Galleria– “A Look Behind the Curtain,” a celebration of Discovering Oz, marketing consultancy wizards and good friends of mine. It’s a party with a designer art show and performances by myself, Betsy Bates and Reed Collins, Lynn Harris, The Peripherals/Talking Band.

Doors open at 7pm. Performances start at 8pm. Free!

Oh, and one more thing! My beautiful new redesign was done by the folks at vii-designs, Ryan Foy (design) and Nick Gaswirth (photography). Please patronize them, they’re wonderful. (And by patronize, I mean act as a patron. No need to say things like “Why, aren’t you articulate,” and “You know what the interweb is, don’t you?” They’re way past that. These boys are a dream.)

Janet Any-Gal Mystery Radio Theatre

For five years now, I’ve gone up to the Depot Theatre on beautiful Lake Champlain for a few weeks during the summers to work with the apprentice program– kids from ages of 6-13. And for the past four of those years, I’ve created original radio plays that we do as staged readings. The kids write original commercials for the breaks in the action, and we perform with minimal costume pieces.

I can’t tell you how rewarding it has been to watch kids take to this form. Using just microphones and music stands, kids learn how to bring a script alive with their imagination. Characterization and vocal clarity is prized, but so is teamwork; older kids are able to help the younger ones find their places and create sound effects. Kids who are more physical love the Foley artistry, while the heightened language and larger roles provide challenges for more advanced performers— and the parents and grandparents love it.

More theaters and educational programs have contacted me about performing Janet Any-Gal plays– stay tuned for more news!

(photos by Kathryn Cramer)

JANET ANY-GAL IN “MYSTERY OFF THE MAP” SYNOPSIS
The sleepy little town of Westport, New York, is about to wake up. Janet Any-Gal, our 16-year-old heroine in charge of her Pop’s detective shop while he’s off on the war front, impresses one of her father’s clients, an insurance investigator from the city who’s not used to getting his feet muddy and who needs some help with a break-in down at Old McGuffy’s farm. The clues are kid-sized, and Janet knows just which gang of tough local boys to ask what’s what. When they lead her to the mysterious ward of the richest family in town, Janet finds herself in mortal danger in a climactic showdown in an old barn.

JANET ANY-GAL IN “A NOSE FOR TROUBLE” SYNOPSIS
Westport is celebrating the anniversary of the discovery of Lake Champlain, and an influx of out-of-town tourists provides temptation and easy marks for the resort owners, hucksters and petty criminals of the quiet country village. Meanwhile, a new resort camp in town is providing competition for businessman Cedric McMillan, and the French perfume of Camp Normandie’s confident mistress, Coco Du Champagne, seems to drive men crazy in more ways than one. When a skunk sprays his camp, McMillan blames the mademoiselle, and hires Janet Any-Gal to find evidence that will turn the tourists against Coco and bring them back to Camp Westport’s Pride. With the help of the notorious Bumble Brothers and souvenir salesman Cheadle Pennysworth, Janet’s the one girl detective who can sniff out the truth.

JANET ANY-GAL IN “CHAMPY TESTS THE WATERS” SYNOPSIS
Toughie O’Leary asks Janet for help after members of his boys gang find mysterious tracks down by the lakefront. Though distracted by demands for back rent by the landlady at her Pop’s detective office, Janet finds herself drawn in when the whole town of Westport starts to blame Champy, the Lake Monster of Lake Champlain. Town eccentrics Oriana Anderson and Champy expert Denton Beedleswitch face off against their frightened friends and neighbors, and the return of the enigmatic former prisoner Bill Russell muddies the waters for Janet and Toughie as they fight for the future of the lake itself.

JANET ANY-GAL IN “MYSTERY FINDS A FRIEND” SYNOPSIS
Janet has to bet on her friends when she investigates hijinks at the polo fields in Westport. When the star polo pony, Wadham’s Pride, makes trouble for stuck-up stick-wielder Porter Westenbrook, he asks Janet to look into it. With the help of her best friend Lila, Lila’s brother Lionel, and her usual shadow Little Petie Wilson, Janet discovers trouble on the field and off. And what are Albany’s heaviest gangsters doing lurking around the stable? Janet learns about the history of polo, the hidden strengths of her best pals, and the perils of horsing around.

# # #

“Three Chords of the Apocalypse” at All For One Theatre Festival, November 17

I’ll be performing a 20-minute excerpt of a new work, “The Three Chords of the Apocalypse,” at a new exciting solo show festival brought to you by Broadway producer Michael Wolk, on November 17th at Theatre 80 St. Marks.
All For One Theater Festival

On the 17th, I’ll be proud to share the evening with Zero Boy, and Elizabeth Van Meter.

I’ve been working with director Jay Stern on this piece– it’s me, my guitar, and a story about working as a transcriptionist for mass media outlets before and after 9/11. I can also highly recommend many of the events in the festival, including a moving, oral-history based show about Hurricane Katrina by my friend Mari Brown (“23 Feet in 12 Minutes”), and writing workshops with the great Matt Hoverman, and others. Please visit the site and mark your calendars!

Next appearing in: “Cowgirls” at Florida Studio Theatre

Cowgirls
A joyous musical comedy, running June 8 thru July 24, 2011
At Florida Studio Theatre in Sarasota Florida
For more info and tickets: http://www.floridastudiotheatre.org/show_shows.php?id=334

Overview
Accidentally booked as an all-female country band, a group of classically trained musicians go “From Chopin to Country” while trying to save the grand reopening of a debt-ridden saloon. This off-Broadway crowd-pleaser ran for years at the Minetta Lane Theatre, and will be directed by creator and original cast member Mary Murfitt. Joanna plays the part of the cellist, Lee, and is happy to return to beautiful Sarasota after the 2008 production of “Outlaws and Angels.”

“Lonely Girl and the Subway Hero”– a new comedy, April 14th

I’ve been working on a 45-minute piece, and I’d love to have you join me at its very first iteration, at a lovely intimate space at the Soho Gallery for Digital Art.

LONELY GIRL AND THE SUBWAY HERO
APRIL 14, 7:30PM

Musical monologuist Joanna Parson’s Non-Intrusive Subway Musician (as heard on WNYC’s “The Next Big Thing” and Caroline’s Comedy Club) finds herself falling into the subway tracks… and falling in love. A tale of the intersection between shyness and fame, tabloid reporters and street musicians, mysterious celebrities, second chances, and a flower shop under the blue line where guitars and gerberas transport you with a song.

Part of their Thursday Night Musicals! series.

Tickets $20.00 at the door, or buy tickets here:

http://52musicals.com/index.php?option=com_rokquickcart&view=rokquickcart&Itemid=2

Soho Gallery for Digital Art
138 Sullivan Street
New York, NY 10012

In Konstantinos Antonopoulos’s “C-Minor”

A few pictures from Kostas’ short film, tentatively titled “C-Minor,” coming soon. A Columbia MFA project.

I’m mulling over a guitar purchase:

Leading a student band:

Living with some consequences (we shot this live in the street– that woman on the lower left came up to me and tried to help– very sweet!):

New Moon Reading series at Luna Stage, December 6

I’ll be performing the role of Trixie in “Fizz”, a new play by Rogelio Martinez, at Luna Stage in New Jersey on December 6, 7:30 PM. I’m happy to be working with director Nancy Robillard again.

For more information look for the “New Moon” reading series at Lunastage.org.